UNDERSTANDING FEELINGS: PART 1
Here’s one of the most basic but USEFUL things to know about our kids (and ourselves) and to pass onto our kids. But also one of the hardest to get and accept because of the way most of us have (innocently) been conditioned.
ALL FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS ARE NORMAL AND OKAY
And regularly having and expressing this whole range of feelings, many times a day (and even an hour!) is totally normal and okay too.
Knowing this means that just as we respond to our kids smiles and excitement with acceptance and love, so we can respond to their tears and grumps and frustration with the same acceptance and love. In fact, this is the very definition of unconditional love.
Even when there’s a total s**t show going on around you, that’s okay. It doesn’t mean anything bad. Perhaps your child’s in a low mood. Maybe all your kids are in a low mood. Maybe there’s an obvious cause, maybe there isn’t. But that’s okay, it’s all okay…it will pass. Knowing that all of it is totally okay and normal is your biggest weapon. Most of the time we don’t have to attribute meaning to it, assume something is ‘wrong’, analyse it, bitch about it, take it personally. It is what it is. And the less we react, attempt to fix and soothe and distract and ‘sort out’, the quicker it will pass by.
We don’t worry about the dark clouds in the sky, right? We know they’ll pass eventually and the sun will come out?
Left alone, kids (and all of us) naturally self-correct back to our innately calm and centered selves. That’s the beauty in the design of humans, it’s just how it works.
Coming soon: Why we have feelings and what they tell us